Something New and Different
I'm gonna try something a little bit different... sometimes I create little one-liners and stories that are amusing (to me anyway). I generally create these as away messages for AIM or just quick jots in my notebooks to make me chuckle to myself. I'll add a couple, maybe it will become a recurring thing...
1-19-06
So I woke up bright and early this morning to go speak with my Economics professor. I got to the building in good time and caught my professor as he was exiting the restroom... we started walking towards his office as I informed him of my desire to add his class... suddenly I noticed the distinct odor of whiskey permeating the air... I realized that I should really put some gum in to mask my breath... and why was my professor carrying a mop and a bright yellow briefcase that said 'Wet Floor'?
1-19-06
Do you ever have those dreams where you are walking down the street and everyone is pointing and laughing at you, and then you look down and realize that you're only wearing your underwear... because the hooker stole your clothes again... and you've been drinking vodka since 8 am... and then you realize it isn't really a dream at all?
1-19-06
The big fluffy white kitty slowly strolled into the room, he was generally mild-mannered and quite lovable, however, today the kitty had something much different on his mind... murder.
1-19-06
If there is a chink in my armor I'm going to name it Mao Zedong... or maybe Ping.
1-19-06
I think of God the same way I think of my Roomba... I don't neccesarily know where it is all the time, I don't know how it works exactly and I don't know how to explain it to other people, but if you look around my living room you can just tell, something very special is happening here... I mean, my carpet is SPOTLESS...
1-19-06
I believe that Hentai porn is a conspiracy created by Asian men and other men with abnormally small genitalia in an attempt to undermine the efforts of non-Asian men and other men with normally sized genitalia from sleeping with Asian women. I must admit, I may be slightly disappointed sleeping with an insanely disproportionate Asian woman if she didn't have those huge, cartoon-looking eyes, however I assure you, it will not thwart my enthusiasm nor dissuade me from getting freaky deaky with good-looking asian women.
1-19-06
So I woke up bright and early this morning to go speak with my Economics professor. I got to the building in good time and caught my professor as he was exiting the restroom... we started walking towards his office as I informed him of my desire to add his class... suddenly I noticed the distinct odor of whiskey permeating the air... I realized that I should really put some gum in to mask my breath... and why was my professor carrying a mop and a bright yellow briefcase that said 'Wet Floor'?
1-19-06
Do you ever have those dreams where you are walking down the street and everyone is pointing and laughing at you, and then you look down and realize that you're only wearing your underwear... because the hooker stole your clothes again... and you've been drinking vodka since 8 am... and then you realize it isn't really a dream at all?
1-19-06
The big fluffy white kitty slowly strolled into the room, he was generally mild-mannered and quite lovable, however, today the kitty had something much different on his mind... murder.
1-19-06
If there is a chink in my armor I'm going to name it Mao Zedong... or maybe Ping.
1-19-06
I think of God the same way I think of my Roomba... I don't neccesarily know where it is all the time, I don't know how it works exactly and I don't know how to explain it to other people, but if you look around my living room you can just tell, something very special is happening here... I mean, my carpet is SPOTLESS...
1-19-06
I believe that Hentai porn is a conspiracy created by Asian men and other men with abnormally small genitalia in an attempt to undermine the efforts of non-Asian men and other men with normally sized genitalia from sleeping with Asian women. I must admit, I may be slightly disappointed sleeping with an insanely disproportionate Asian woman if she didn't have those huge, cartoon-looking eyes, however I assure you, it will not thwart my enthusiasm nor dissuade me from getting freaky deaky with good-looking asian women.
posted by Zac @ 1/20/2006 01:08:00 AM
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