Random and Oft Times Nonsensical Thoughts
02/06--
I like to douse things in flammable liquid, light them on fire, and then say, "WHOA! 'Spontaneous' combustion!"while gesturing big quotation marks around the word "spontaneous".
02/06--
Ladies, a friendly piece of advice... I know sometimes conversation gets a little slow but regardless of the circumstances it is not, I repeat, it is NOT good to talk about your ex-boyfriend... don't do it... ever... please... for my sake.
02/06--
The dawning of a new day... similar to all those that have come before it, however altogether unique in its own right. Today I choose my own destiny... I alone lead myself into a new light, and beat the trail for others who will come behind me.
02/06--
Sometimes I feel like getting my shotgun out, loading it and then walking around for awhile before I randomly shoot someone in the face. Seriously though, I am the next Dick Cheney.
02/06--
I've got a great idea for a new olympic sport... it combines my two favorite activities: drinking and lighting things on fire. Basically the object of this sport is to get as intoxicated as possible and then launch flaming projectiles at the other team, the crowd, the officials and pretty much everyone else within launching distance. I think I'll call my ingenius new sport "flameball". I'm going downtown to go practice for the 2010 Olympic Flameball team.
02/06--
I remember waking up before dawn when we were in West Virginia... and the fog was still covering everything... the dense, frigid, morning cold, wet blanket... and then as the sun started to come up, it burned bright warm trails through the cloud... until finally all I saw was just one last thin sheet of the fog rolling along the tree tops on shady side of the mountain...
the fog and the light... they were really special... they were beautiful... it was as if the mountains had sprung up to their towering heights just to attest to the beauty of that place
02/06--
I fucked mother nature... 9 months later, she gave birth to an alternate universe, a black hole, the moon and the sun. Now, I spend my time drifting between parallel universes and kicking it with the cellestial bodies that are my offspring, trying to get rid of these bastard planets... except earth, because it has my eyes... but Neptune is paying the child support so SHHH! You only wish you could live my life.
02/06--
If Hillary won on election day, the 911 circuit boards would be lighting up like a Jerry Lewis Telethon for spousal abuses on Election Night
02/06--
That would be fucked up to roll up on a homeless people orgy... cause you know they never shave anything either
02/06--
I'm working on my neo-Suessian classic... Horton Hears a WTF
02/06--
I consider myself a lot like Gandhi... Gandhi sat alone meditating in a jail cell as a form of civil disobedience against an oppressive society whereas I sat alone, horribly hungover, in an isolation cell, trying to remember exactly what it was I had done to get myself there in the first place.
02/06--
I remember one time I went to the reservoir with a friend... we got to a fairly secluded spot right near the water and he pulls 5 big packs of Juicy Fruit out of his pocket. Anyway, he would open up 4 or 5 pieces of the gum individually and wad them each into a little ball. Then he would look at me and say, "Listen." He proceeded to throw each wad of gum into the water and wait for the splash, "BLOOOP!". We both found this quite hysterical at the time. As if that weren't funny enough, he would take the empty gum wrappers and sniff them while making borderline orgasmic noises. The moral of this story is: Next time you take hallucinogenic mushrooms and go to the reservoir, don't forget the Juicy Fruit.
02/06--
In the absence of amphetamines I have regressed to the academic mannerisms of a Kindergartner stuck on "nap time". Wake me up when it's time for finger painting.
02/06--
The King of Diamonds is armed with an ax while the other three kings are armed with swords. The king of hearts is shown with a sword behind his head leading to the nickname "suicide king". I was playing poker for 5 hours last night instead of studying for my midterms today... now I feel like pulling a "king of hearts".
02/06--
I remember arriving in Lubbock, Texas at 11 am having driven 17 hours straight through the night... the man at the gas station told me it hadn't snowed there in 15 years, I must have brought the weather down with me... the snow didn't bother me much though, I had left 3 inches on the ground behind me and I assumed that I would return to it again also... the snow made no difference because after that first hit, ice was pumping through my veins like a 747 jumbo jet, a freight train and a sold out death metal venue all in one... 3 sleepless days later, I was smooth as velvet spitting game on pink panthers at the club.
02/06--
I'm off in my own little world... and right now my little world is on fire big time... and somehow it's raining gasoline. And somebody packed the volcanoes with fireworks... talk about a lack of foresight!
02/06--
Before I die, I want to pee on a cop car... with the cop standing right there... and if he tries to stop me, well, then I'll pee on him too.
02/06--
The universe is a symphony, comprised of many separate instrumental entities acting independently, although harmoniously, to create an infinitely unique tune. The essence of the symphony lies in the common tones and tempo shared between instruments in harmonizing distinctly different yet necessarily interdependent entities. Beauty, then, is achieved by the conscious and skillful manipulation of each individual instrument to create harmonious melodies and to avoid discord. The power of the universe, like the symphony, stems from the size and scale of production as well as the ability with which available instruments are utilized.
02/06--
While you were eating, I made you a Valentine... it's nothing special, just a Panchero's napkin folded in half and torn in the shape of a heart... well actually it looks more like the Batman symbol, but you know I'm not much of an artist. Anyway, it might not look like much to the naked eye, but it actually came from the bottom of my heart... so... Will you be my Valentine?
02/06--
I'm whoring my mind to "the Man" at the library... assuming that "the Man" is actually a woman... and maybe my mind can be a woman too... I'll think about it.
02/06--
Me and Sadam Hussein have a date for tennis tonight @ Gitmo... we were trying to play doubles, but Osama had to back out at the last minute... some kind of Jihad thing or something.
02/06--
When I get stressed out, I usually try to pretend like the stress doesn't exist. If that doesn't work, I try some stress relieving excercises like firing high-power handguns and rifles, lighting stuff on fire or driving way too fast. If these don't work, then I just get drunk and play poker, because that's generally the inevitable end of my night anyway.
02/06--
If I had to pick one highlight from poker last night, it would DEFINITELY be when I hit the Royal Flush (spades) in my come-from-behind performance at The Lodge, which resulted in a $58 profit. My Royal Flush was dealt by none other than Mr. Trent Fish at approximately 2:45 am on Friday March 3, 2006... The odds of hitting a Royal Flush are 649739:1
I like to douse things in flammable liquid, light them on fire, and then say, "WHOA! 'Spontaneous' combustion!"while gesturing big quotation marks around the word "spontaneous".
02/06--
Ladies, a friendly piece of advice... I know sometimes conversation gets a little slow but regardless of the circumstances it is not, I repeat, it is NOT good to talk about your ex-boyfriend... don't do it... ever... please... for my sake.
02/06--
The dawning of a new day... similar to all those that have come before it, however altogether unique in its own right. Today I choose my own destiny... I alone lead myself into a new light, and beat the trail for others who will come behind me.
02/06--
Sometimes I feel like getting my shotgun out, loading it and then walking around for awhile before I randomly shoot someone in the face. Seriously though, I am the next Dick Cheney.
02/06--
I've got a great idea for a new olympic sport... it combines my two favorite activities: drinking and lighting things on fire. Basically the object of this sport is to get as intoxicated as possible and then launch flaming projectiles at the other team, the crowd, the officials and pretty much everyone else within launching distance. I think I'll call my ingenius new sport "flameball". I'm going downtown to go practice for the 2010 Olympic Flameball team.
02/06--
I remember waking up before dawn when we were in West Virginia... and the fog was still covering everything... the dense, frigid, morning cold, wet blanket... and then as the sun started to come up, it burned bright warm trails through the cloud... until finally all I saw was just one last thin sheet of the fog rolling along the tree tops on shady side of the mountain...
the fog and the light... they were really special... they were beautiful... it was as if the mountains had sprung up to their towering heights just to attest to the beauty of that place
02/06--
I fucked mother nature... 9 months later, she gave birth to an alternate universe, a black hole, the moon and the sun. Now, I spend my time drifting between parallel universes and kicking it with the cellestial bodies that are my offspring, trying to get rid of these bastard planets... except earth, because it has my eyes... but Neptune is paying the child support so SHHH! You only wish you could live my life.
02/06--
If Hillary won on election day, the 911 circuit boards would be lighting up like a Jerry Lewis Telethon for spousal abuses on Election Night
02/06--
That would be fucked up to roll up on a homeless people orgy... cause you know they never shave anything either
02/06--
I'm working on my neo-Suessian classic... Horton Hears a WTF
02/06--
I consider myself a lot like Gandhi... Gandhi sat alone meditating in a jail cell as a form of civil disobedience against an oppressive society whereas I sat alone, horribly hungover, in an isolation cell, trying to remember exactly what it was I had done to get myself there in the first place.
02/06--
I remember one time I went to the reservoir with a friend... we got to a fairly secluded spot right near the water and he pulls 5 big packs of Juicy Fruit out of his pocket. Anyway, he would open up 4 or 5 pieces of the gum individually and wad them each into a little ball. Then he would look at me and say, "Listen." He proceeded to throw each wad of gum into the water and wait for the splash, "BLOOOP!". We both found this quite hysterical at the time. As if that weren't funny enough, he would take the empty gum wrappers and sniff them while making borderline orgasmic noises. The moral of this story is: Next time you take hallucinogenic mushrooms and go to the reservoir, don't forget the Juicy Fruit.
02/06--
In the absence of amphetamines I have regressed to the academic mannerisms of a Kindergartner stuck on "nap time". Wake me up when it's time for finger painting.
02/06--
The King of Diamonds is armed with an ax while the other three kings are armed with swords. The king of hearts is shown with a sword behind his head leading to the nickname "suicide king". I was playing poker for 5 hours last night instead of studying for my midterms today... now I feel like pulling a "king of hearts".
02/06--
I remember arriving in Lubbock, Texas at 11 am having driven 17 hours straight through the night... the man at the gas station told me it hadn't snowed there in 15 years, I must have brought the weather down with me... the snow didn't bother me much though, I had left 3 inches on the ground behind me and I assumed that I would return to it again also... the snow made no difference because after that first hit, ice was pumping through my veins like a 747 jumbo jet, a freight train and a sold out death metal venue all in one... 3 sleepless days later, I was smooth as velvet spitting game on pink panthers at the club.
02/06--
I'm off in my own little world... and right now my little world is on fire big time... and somehow it's raining gasoline. And somebody packed the volcanoes with fireworks... talk about a lack of foresight!
02/06--
Before I die, I want to pee on a cop car... with the cop standing right there... and if he tries to stop me, well, then I'll pee on him too.
02/06--
The universe is a symphony, comprised of many separate instrumental entities acting independently, although harmoniously, to create an infinitely unique tune. The essence of the symphony lies in the common tones and tempo shared between instruments in harmonizing distinctly different yet necessarily interdependent entities. Beauty, then, is achieved by the conscious and skillful manipulation of each individual instrument to create harmonious melodies and to avoid discord. The power of the universe, like the symphony, stems from the size and scale of production as well as the ability with which available instruments are utilized.
02/06--
While you were eating, I made you a Valentine... it's nothing special, just a Panchero's napkin folded in half and torn in the shape of a heart... well actually it looks more like the Batman symbol, but you know I'm not much of an artist. Anyway, it might not look like much to the naked eye, but it actually came from the bottom of my heart... so... Will you be my Valentine?
02/06--
I'm whoring my mind to "the Man" at the library... assuming that "the Man" is actually a woman... and maybe my mind can be a woman too... I'll think about it.
02/06--
Me and Sadam Hussein have a date for tennis tonight @ Gitmo... we were trying to play doubles, but Osama had to back out at the last minute... some kind of Jihad thing or something.
02/06--
When I get stressed out, I usually try to pretend like the stress doesn't exist. If that doesn't work, I try some stress relieving excercises like firing high-power handguns and rifles, lighting stuff on fire or driving way too fast. If these don't work, then I just get drunk and play poker, because that's generally the inevitable end of my night anyway.
02/06--
If I had to pick one highlight from poker last night, it would DEFINITELY be when I hit the Royal Flush (spades) in my come-from-behind performance at The Lodge, which resulted in a $58 profit. My Royal Flush was dealt by none other than Mr. Trent Fish at approximately 2:45 am on Friday March 3, 2006... The odds of hitting a Royal Flush are 649739:1
posted by Zac @ 3/16/2006 10:10:00 AM
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