Random Thoughts/Etc MAY - DEC 2006

taken from my Facebook messages to other people...
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Donkey: Do you have a 9?
Fish: Go Fish!
Donkey: Damn... (draws card) DAMN!
Fish: Do you have uh... a ... 9?
Donkey: DAMN! (as fish lays down paired 9s for the win)
Fish: (stands up and pumps fins while doing the running man) GO FISH! GO FISH! GO FISH!

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Did you know that if you overlap tape of the Crocodile Hunter and Back to the Future at the same time, the resulting image is actually Jurrasic Park 2? True story...

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Octagonosaurus: The Man-eating Stop Sign

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I am an Eskimo... and I do wear Uggz... J/K... I am actually a jungle person, all I wear is snake skin, leather sandles and leopard skins...One time I travelled to Jamaica in a completely organic wardrobe... "Wardrobe"potemus

- Z

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I'm not gonna lie, your status message kind of reminds me of the time I got wasted with Dr. Seuss and he passed out in the gutter... but then when I sobered up, it wasn't Dr. Seuss at all, it was just some homeless dude they called Stewey. Who knew?

Anyway, if snowboarding is definitely in your future you should give me a shout cause I've been trying to hit the slopes for a quick minute (at least since last winter)...

Cause when the snow falls, I'm growin' snowballs, I'm not cold, I'm balls out ya'll. Sippin' tall stouts on the mountain, I'm countin' wishes out loud like change in a fountain.

-Z

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:)=~

I think I just created cigarette SMOKING smiley!! This is a landmark!! you heard it here first. I'm a damned GENIUS and smiley SMOKES.

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Yo it's 3:30 am... we celebrated your birthday without you... You better forking be spooning Paris Hilton right now... Call me when you are on the way to IC, if you ever make down here

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Vorheis... put the crack pipe down for like 2 seconds... First and foremost, you just dropped the "N" bomb on my message board... second, if you made so much $ tonight, you should pay me back the $ that I loaned you to buy in with on Sunday... Third, your sharkscope indicates that you are still well below the break-even line for online play on your pokerstars account... conversely, my sharkscope indicates not only NET profit, but I've also played in over 5 times as many tournaments. Based soley on the verifiable, tangible evidence provided by sharkscope, it is clear that you have lost money whereas I have profited from playing online poker...

In lieu of any concrete and tangible proof to verify and/or document your alleged live game earnings, I expect that this petty argument is finished.

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Vorheis... for God's sake... Have you been picking up girls at the Teen Dance Club again? If you are going to rob the cradle, don't let the whole facebook community know about it... Haven't I taught you anything? You have more messages from High School girls than I have in my freakin' high school yearbook.

-Z

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riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... let's play a little word association...

I am to poker as _______ is to basketball...

(Acceptable answers: Michael Jordan, Lebron James, God, etc)

Another brain-buster:

I am a profitable poker player because:
a. I make money playing poker
b. I lose money playing poker
c. I engage in deviant sexual acts on the felt of poker tables on a regular basis
d. A and C

(correct response D)

One more...You are fish because:
a. You lose money playing poker
b. You get wasted and make bad mistakes on the poker table
c. You overplay your low pocket pairs
d. All of the above

(correct response is again D)

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First it poketh and then it poketh again... and then maybe it poketh again just for good measure...

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I had a small financial catastrophe over spring break... thank god not on the poker tables... got a ticket for failure to obey a traffic sign and ended up going to jail for LITTERING! I don't think it helped that I called the officer a 'fatherless son of a whore'... anyway, I will be at Currier tonight playing cards, I will look for you...

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You're crazy dude... sorry about the duffle bag... it was covered in some mysterious white powder (anthrax maybe?)... actually vorheis was just wasted and wouldn't give me a ride back to the crib to grab it for you... anyway, just saying what up... call me when you get back in town.

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Yo Yo Yo Yo...What's great in the Sunshine State? I'm not gonna lie, I've seen Natalie since the last time I saw you... that means it's been too long since I've seen you...

I was just thinking, what happened to the days when we would get all drunk and fucked up and just kick it? Yo, ya'll were like my partnas in crime... like on some Indiana Jones shit... You were for sure the Sean Connery to the Indy Adventure and Natalie was like that lil asian kid, all stoned on the couch, that always says "Dr. Jones!"

Yo, I'll be missin' that 'n stuff... Holla @ ya boy :)

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You know what those two fingers mean? That's right VICTORY! I am a third degree black belt in Beer Pong... Is it just me or does my hand kind of look like I was wearing a mitten in a tanning bed?

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It's friday, I have class until 3:20... then I'm drinking until simple tasks like walking and talking become exceptionally difficult... let me know what time you are going to free up for the night. I'll call you if I haven't heard from you by the time speech starts becoming difficult...

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They are going... for another couple weeks anyway. I'm still waying the pros and cons of grinding it out through finals vs. jumping in front of a speeding Cambus... It's really a toss up at this point.

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to my brother...

If you turned to dinosaur when you did the sex
everyday you would be the Tyrannosaurus Rex...
If when you did the sex I got a nickel
I would have enough to by a new tricycle.

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We am spase peepole... cloning the universe.

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Happy Birthday... it was a pleasure sharing the womb with you... now make me some tacos... or buy me dollar menu.

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who is that hottie in your FB pic?
Does she know you have straight twin??
HA HA...
j/k...
but seriously...
but j/k....
HA HA...
but seriously...

-Z

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I'm thinking about donating my DNA to a human cloning experiment... how would you feel about a triplet?

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If I never frowned or got a little down I would be bound to a false sense of soundness... I'd have to clown on these kids when they fall down just to keep myself from drowning from the weight of some fake crown... so I wear no crown, no chains, I treat each person the same, so each unique imprint is left deep on my brain, cause my game is in the read and I would bleed up into the seas to keep these little seeds from being needy.

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Let me drop some ancient wisdom on you...I'll be rocking from the cradle to the grave, throwing ladels from overflowing tables back to the slaves, I never mistake the bravery of those in slavery, cause savory flavors are still a major favor to me. Cowardly, caped, they underpay my neighbors for their labor, they layed down in their graves when they enslaved her, raped her into labor, and disgraced her when they displaced the beautiful face that she'd made

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I'm livin' la vida loca bebe :)... and by loca, I mean going to class, going to the library and occasionally sleeping, when time permits. I just got my license back though, so things are starting to liven up now that I am able to drive placez with my peoplez and chillz

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"MINGXI! I am going to squash you like a cockroach!"- Diane Henry

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"Racial!" Ms. Henry exclaimed with a perplexed look on her face."Oh god," I thought to myself,"It must be Black History Month again... but it's only November, hmm..."Ms. Henry glared at the class with a stare so intense it seemed it would melt holes through her eyeglasses,"Racial!" she yelled again,"Racial Hodge, you need to go to the office."

Oh, I see what's going on here...

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Image from back in the day:
Mingxi pulling the sausage patties from lunch out of his pocket during gym class, 3 hours after lunch had ended.

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Thanks for the birthday shoutout... Yoli has great foresight, she's been calling me "the bad twin" ever since I started working at earning title over a decade ago. I think the name has really caught on too, it seems like pretty much everybody's parents call me that now, I guess most of the kids do too. Hey let's go light something on fire.

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Glad to see that you are putting that college experience to work... Just remember, during a drive-by it's every man for himself, if you outrun your students, well, that's their problem...

But seriously though, it was good to see you (if but briefly) this summer. Good luck teaching your little hoodlums and stay safe!

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The toro? He's good, although he's been a little ornery lately... I guess sometimes you just have to be assertive and grab the bull by the horns and wrestle with him a little bit... and then realize you are actually just pinching your own stomach and rolling around on the floor of the library making weird noises... and then you have to get up real fast and hope no one was watching.

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Sorry I missed your B-day Party shorty, but Happy (slightly belated) Birthday. I would have been at the Field House, but me George Bush, Osama Bin Laden and Sadaam Hussein had a date @ Gitmo for doubles tennis, and you know how hard those things are to reschedule.

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Thank you for the birthday shoutout... I feel more special than the kids on the short bus. I heard through the grapevine that Queen Elizabeth is quite the poker player... you'll have to get me in a game with her... the Dalai Lama can come too

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Butros... Long time no see homie. I hope things are going good with you. You remember that time when we were puffin' on stoner road and I was supposed to be holding the wheel but I was already mad blitzed and was watching the maybo instead. And the Taurus rolled up on the side of that bridge and was momentarily airborn... and after it hit the ground you ran out of the car and saw that it wasn't fucked up and you were like " IT'S NOT FUCKED UP!" That was pretty funny... ha ha. Good thing your car didn't get fucked up. Keep it real.

-Z

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Stay posted for a new blog hopefully sooner then 6 months....